When Your Child Is the Bully

Finding out that your kid is the one who is behaving inappropriately can be upsetting and heartbreaking. It's important to address the problem head on and not wait for it to go away.

Talk to your child firmly about his or her actions and explain the negative impact it has on others. Joking and teasing might seem OK, but it can hurt people's feelings and lead to getting in trouble. Bullying — in any form — is unacceptable; there can be serious (and sometimes irrevocable) consequences at home, school, and in the community if it continues.

Remind your child that the use of cell phones and computers is a privilege. Sometimes it helps to restrict the use of these devices until behavior improves. If you feel your child should have a cell phone for safety reasons, make sure it is a phone that can only be used for emergency purposes. Insist on strict parental controls on all devices if there is any history of your child making impulsive decisions when they are online.

To get to the heart of the matter, sometimes talking to teachers, guidance counselors, and other school officials can help identify situations that lead a kid to bully others. If your child has trouble managing anger, talk to a therapist about helping your son or daughter learn to cope with anger, hurt, frustration, and other strong emotions in a healthy way.

Professional counseling often helps kids learn to deal with their feelings and improve their confidence and social skills, which in turn can reduce the risk of bullying. If you're tech-savvy yourself, model good online habits to help your kids understand the benefits and the dangers of life in the digital world.